Guess What? I'm a Stalker!!

So, I’m sitting at work minding my own business – surfing the internet, reading about strip clubs – the usual. All of a sudden my cell phone rang and it was an un-listed number. Despite my busy schedule I picked up the phone because I hate checking my voicemails. Usually, people call me and leave voicemails and then I don’t check them for like a couple of weeks and then it’s really annoying because I have cingular and I can’t delete in the middle of a message – I have to wait ALL the way until the end of the message before I can delete it. And since I usually wait so long to check them I’ve already spoken to the person a kajillion years before and the information relayed in the message is so boringly old I practically have to restrain myself from peeling off my eyelids in frustration.

Anyway – so this guy calls me and he is angry. And he asks me who this is and I’m like…this is real_pants, who is this? And he said it doesn’t matter who he is, but someone from my cell phone number has been calling him constantly all day. THREE WHOLE TIMES. (I would like to interject that aside from the fact that it’s a weird situation since clearly I haven’t been calling an unrestricted number all day – duh I’m busy working – three times does not a stalker make.) So I said, in very good humor despite this man’s poor attitude, “That’s impossible, I’m at work and I don’t know who you are.” But he wouldn’t listen to reason, and then yelled at me and told me that I’d better stop or he’s going to report me. And I was right in the middle of telling him he could report away, tell whomever he darn well pleases, when he hung up on me.

How rude is that?

Obviously something’s going on with my cell phone, but besides the strangeness of the situation, I think that guy is really rude and slightly stupid. Rude because he was mean to me. And stupid because who is he going to “report” me to? Who cares? Do you think the police care that some person called him three times in a day and then hung up? No, they are busy catching serial killers and eating donuts and having sex with prosthetics specialists (shout-out, Dexter!). So anyway, I hope he calls me back so I can tell him that he’s a total imbecile and has the IQ of the sock that my cat dragged into her litter box the other day.

I’m sure that if he’d approached the situation in a calm and collected manner we could have gotten to the bottom of the great cell phone calling mystery. But instead he was mean and hung up on me so now all of you will feel the great void in your lives of never knowing who it really was that called him.