No respectable human...
Hello World!
I know you’ve all been on the edge of your seats waiting for my entrance to the fabulous world of I hate to break it to you. So without further adieu…let’s talk about something not so fabulous. I’ll give you a hint. This rhymes with “cocks” but isn’t nearly as glorious. Crocs people. Crocs. It’s time.
These alleged “shoes” entered my life back when I was a poor peasant worker at Whole Foods. Only a bunch of goddamn hippies would sell these things. I would look on in horror seeing people dressed decently (or as decently as Whole Foods shoppers dress) with a pair of BLAZE ORANGE Crocs in their hand-basket with their arugula and bean sprouts. I’d have to bite my tongue and watch them spend good money (I think the ugly fuckers are like $25 or something?) only to assault my eyes. Hey kids, go next door and buy 7 cute shirts at Forever 21 with that money like a respectable human being!
Today I got pushed over the edge. It’s rainy. It’s gross. But let’s review. Crocs are NOT galoshes! They’re not! They have HOLES! So really, these fools have no excuse for wearing them. None! Not in Manhattan! Maybe they can wear them in their garden in Westchester, but not here. No. Take them off Mr. Guy-who-works-in-our-sales-department! Not only are they not galoshes but they are certainly not dress shoes!
So anyway, this has been a lame first post! I have to go watch “Babel” now and eat 17 lbs of buttered popcorn. Deal with it.
I know you’ve all been on the edge of your seats waiting for my entrance to the fabulous world of I hate to break it to you. So without further adieu…let’s talk about something not so fabulous. I’ll give you a hint. This rhymes with “cocks” but isn’t nearly as glorious. Crocs people. Crocs. It’s time.
These alleged “shoes” entered my life back when I was a poor peasant worker at Whole Foods. Only a bunch of goddamn hippies would sell these things. I would look on in horror seeing people dressed decently (or as decently as Whole Foods shoppers dress) with a pair of BLAZE ORANGE Crocs in their hand-basket with their arugula and bean sprouts. I’d have to bite my tongue and watch them spend good money (I think the ugly fuckers are like $25 or something?) only to assault my eyes. Hey kids, go next door and buy 7 cute shirts at Forever 21 with that money like a respectable human being!
Today I got pushed over the edge. It’s rainy. It’s gross. But let’s review. Crocs are NOT galoshes! They’re not! They have HOLES! So really, these fools have no excuse for wearing them. None! Not in Manhattan! Maybe they can wear them in their garden in Westchester, but not here. No. Take them off Mr. Guy-who-works-in-our-sales-department! Not only are they not galoshes but they are certainly not dress shoes!
So anyway, this has been a lame first post! I have to go watch “Babel” now and eat 17 lbs of buttered popcorn. Deal with it.
posted by kickmeup at 5:27 PM
1 Comments:
The Jews wear crocs.
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